Three more days...

I can not imagine being away from him all day.  I can not imagine how our routines will ALL change once again. I can not imagine how tired I will be.  I just can not imagine what it is going to be like going back to work.  I know that it will all be ok and we will all "figure it out," but I guess I just don't want to face it.  Am I ready to go back to work, yes... I love my job, I love my kiddos, I love my co-workers, I love the routine, but I just can not imagine not being with our baby boy ALL day long.  I told a co-worker the other day, "If I could come back to work and bring him with me, I would be SOOO happy."  I can not sit and think about it too long because it already makes me cry, I do not even want to imagine what Monday will be like.  I know it will get easier and easier and I know that Braxton will thrive and be just fine at his "school," I know these things but it does not make it any easier.  This week has been about finding ways to make it easier for me and my family since I will not be home all day to do most of the chores.  I have made a menu for two weeks worth of dinners, I have my the list of things that we need to get ready to take to his "school," I have made the grocery list for things that we need from Sam's and Krogers, etc.  SOO hopefully this will make this weekend go smoother.  I know that we will all figure this out and we will all get into a routine but the anticipation is killing me.  I keep thinking about how I will be the one that has to get him up and get him ready for school, as well as, get myself ready.  What if's keep popping into my head....what if he wakes up and I have to feed him while I am supposed to be getting ready and then I am late, what if I have to start getting up at FOUR SOMETHING, what if I do not have enough time, what if, what if , what if.  In three short days we will see how it all goes, but until then I am going to enjoy every cry, every cuddle, every middle of the night feeding, every diaper change, every bath time, etc.