As I sit here right now... numb, mad, in complete disbelief, scared, unable to control my emotions, angry, weepy, hopeful, shaken, and the list goes on and on and on....I can't even sort my thoughts. I don't even know where to begin. Yesterday, my family's world was turned upside down by one word, carcinoma. Yesterday, we found out my mom has now begun her fight with breast cancer. I am still in such disbelief.....I took her Tuesday for a biopsy that was supposed to come back as a fat or calcium deposit, right? (.... Lean not on your own understanding. Prov. 3:5).
I keep trying to digest this but thus far I have been unable to do so. Litearlly the only thing I can do is pray (and cry) and pray some more. (Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. I Peter 5:7.) The devil keeps rearing his ugly little head and catastrohizing everything but the Lord spoke to me plain as day yesterday and told me "this is not a death sentence." (.... for I am the LORD, who heals you. Exodus 15:26)--I am clinging to this.
This is all so new, fresh, and painful. I want to be selifish, I want to be mad, I want to scream and cry and kick something, but it won't make this ugly, nasty, disgusting disease go away. To be honest, this all hurts so bad and I strongly dislike it.
I ask that you pray and please keep praying, actually, never stop praying. We are all so unsure of what lies ahead for us but I do know one thing... He has a plan.
3 comments:
I cannot imagine what you and your family are going through. Such scary words. We will definitely be praying for each of you. Cling to those scriptures. Proclaim them as true over your lives, and believe the truth in them. He DOES have a plan. And His plan is for GOOD for you and your family. Love y'all.
I know what you're going through and if you need ANYTHING AT ALL, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. Even if it is just giving you time to kick, scream, and cry it all out. You're right in the sense that it wont make it go away, but sometimes you just need to let it all out. I'm here Bonnie for anything and everything. Let me know what I can do for you!!!!!!!! You know I am praying like crazy. Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, lean not on your own understandings. In all your ways, submit to Him, and He will make your path straight!!!!
He has it planned for a reason and I'm here to walk with you until you know that reason!!!
Thank you ladies. This sure isn't easy.
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